Boss: Do you know which famous person said, "I do not feel obliged to believe that the same God who has endowed us with sense, reason, and intellect has intended us to forgo their use"?
Me: (Are you joking?!) Nope. No idea.
Boss: Ok, so what must you do?
Me: (Sighs) Ask the right questions...
Boss: Yes.
Me: Yup.
Boss: So..
Me: ......
Boss: Ask me la. But only 5. Think carefully.
Me: (I want to go home.) Ok... Is it a he or she?
Boss: Its a He.
Me: Dead or Alive?
Boss: Dead.
Me: Which field or fields popularised him?
Boss: Mmmm.... physics, mathematics, astronomy...
Me: (What the hell?!!) Ok..... What major theory, discovery or achievement catapulted him to fame?
Boss: (He smiles) Improvisations to the telescope.
Me: Galileo Galilei.
Boss: Correct.
Me: Can I go for a smoke now?
Boss: But I got one more...
Me: Er.. Ask Grace. She loves riddles.
Boss: I asked her earlier. Never mind la, I ask you tomorrow.
Me: Yes sure! (Help me.)
Boss: Contain your enthusiasm. Tomorrow's one will be real hard.
Me: That's great!
Whoever said learning can be fun, should work with my boss. He unknowingly saps my energy for breakfast, lunch and tea.
Wednesday, June 24, 2009
Saturday, June 20, 2009
Happy Father's Day
Very often I hear people say, "My dad is my hero."
And very often I thought to myself, "My dad is not my hero."
To describe my dad to be a Hero, just seems too idealistic. It feels like I am disconnecting him from the real world.
I imagine a Hero to wear his underpants on the outside, leap from building to building, hunt bad guys, protect the poor and helpless etc, etc.. Blame it on Television, but it has certainly defined my understanding of the word Hero.
So by that definition, my dad is no Hero. He is not an exaggeration.
He doesn't have the many qualities found in a Hero, which makes him what he is - very human.
He never swept me up when I fell while learning how to ride the bicycle. He told me, "You want to learn how to ride a bike? Pick yourself up everytime you fall."
He never got me everything I asked for. He said, "In life, you never get everything you want. If you did, something is wrong."
He never smiled and gave his blessings whenever I told him I am going to dance in a show/competition. But he once told the guy in front of him, "Can you stop standing? My daughter is dancing. "
He never asked me personal questions about my life because he knew I would eventually tell him if I wanted to.
He never comforted me when I was crying. He would say, "Just make sure you are not wasting your tears on useless things."
He never regretted punishing me when I was young. But I do remember the nights I woke up to find him sitting silently by bed, watching me sleep. When I looked at him quizzically, he said, "Next time don't choose the belt." (My dad believed in democracy. He lets us choose our weapon of punishment. Usually, the ensemble comprises a belt, the cane, the annoying feather duster and a clothes hanger.)
He never stopped learning from me. He is a strong advocate of, "Don't know? Learn from someone who does."
He never stopped being sarcastic to me but when someone else insults me, he never failed to defend me.
He never taught me his card tricks. He said, "Want to do something impressive? Learn it on your own."
He never played any games alone with me other than chess. He said, "I don't care about your physical strength.. but the mental strength I need to know."
He never sat down and read to me but that doesn't mean he never told me stories.
He never asked me about my future plans because he said he knew I won't screw things up.
He never was absent when I truly needed him. He just knew when he had to be there and when he didn't have to.
Like the Kuchi Kuchi Rakama song said, "Appanuku penn pidikum."
Its true.
I am my dad's favourite family member... But he would never say it and he doesn't have to.
My dad is no hero. He is real.
Here's wishing all the real deals out there a very Happy Father's Day.
P.S. No I do not sing the 'Daddy Mummy Veetil Illai' song when you are not at home.
And very often I thought to myself, "My dad is not my hero."
To describe my dad to be a Hero, just seems too idealistic. It feels like I am disconnecting him from the real world.
I imagine a Hero to wear his underpants on the outside, leap from building to building, hunt bad guys, protect the poor and helpless etc, etc.. Blame it on Television, but it has certainly defined my understanding of the word Hero.
So by that definition, my dad is no Hero. He is not an exaggeration.
He doesn't have the many qualities found in a Hero, which makes him what he is - very human.
He never swept me up when I fell while learning how to ride the bicycle. He told me, "You want to learn how to ride a bike? Pick yourself up everytime you fall."
He never got me everything I asked for. He said, "In life, you never get everything you want. If you did, something is wrong."
He never smiled and gave his blessings whenever I told him I am going to dance in a show/competition. But he once told the guy in front of him, "Can you stop standing? My daughter is dancing. "
He never asked me personal questions about my life because he knew I would eventually tell him if I wanted to.
He never comforted me when I was crying. He would say, "Just make sure you are not wasting your tears on useless things."
He never regretted punishing me when I was young. But I do remember the nights I woke up to find him sitting silently by bed, watching me sleep. When I looked at him quizzically, he said, "Next time don't choose the belt." (My dad believed in democracy. He lets us choose our weapon of punishment. Usually, the ensemble comprises a belt, the cane, the annoying feather duster and a clothes hanger.)
He never stopped learning from me. He is a strong advocate of, "Don't know? Learn from someone who does."
He never stopped being sarcastic to me but when someone else insults me, he never failed to defend me.
He never taught me his card tricks. He said, "Want to do something impressive? Learn it on your own."
He never played any games alone with me other than chess. He said, "I don't care about your physical strength.. but the mental strength I need to know."
He never sat down and read to me but that doesn't mean he never told me stories.
He never asked me about my future plans because he said he knew I won't screw things up.
He never was absent when I truly needed him. He just knew when he had to be there and when he didn't have to.
Like the Kuchi Kuchi Rakama song said, "Appanuku penn pidikum."
Its true.
I am my dad's favourite family member... But he would never say it and he doesn't have to.
My dad is no hero. He is real.
Here's wishing all the real deals out there a very Happy Father's Day.
P.S. No I do not sing the 'Daddy Mummy Veetil Illai' song when you are not at home.
Thursday, June 18, 2009
My arrogance will be my downfall
Colleague: Hey, the new girl thinks you are unfriendly and cocky.
Me: Why? Because like everyone else I didn't ask her private questions like where she worked previously? How much her salary was? Whether she has a boyfriend? What her father does?
Colleague: Oei! We just want to get know her better!
Me: Yeah finding out whether she has a boyfriend has brought you all closer. So tell me, what does it say about her character? You know she is 26 and has a boyfriend..
Colleague: My god. Why are you harping on this? I just wanted to know..
Me: You want to know something, you ask, and that question translates to you being genuinely interested in her. However, neither am I that intrusive nor do I have anything to ask her. Which could only mean.. I am unfriendly and cocky. Well, that suits me. Anyway, when she does find out how great I am, she will rue the fact that she didn't get to know me earlier. And when she rues, I will come to you and I say, Some people don't have to try so hard to get to know anyone.
Colleague: What makes you think she will hit it off with you?
Me: Because somewhere in her mind she knows that you guys are just kaypohs. Wahahaha.
Colleague: Right.. Are you always this condescending?
Me: I am just stating the truth.
Colleague: Your arrogance will be your downfall. Really...
Me: I am not arrogant. I call it confidence.
Colleague: Your head la. Confidence is what I have in our government. Arrogance is what you have running in that tiny body of yours. Anyway... I am not taking the bus today. You go ahead.
Me: Ah ok. Guess its just me and my arrogance then.
Colleague: Yeah I hope you and your pompous ass go for a great joy ride...
Me: Why? Because like everyone else I didn't ask her private questions like where she worked previously? How much her salary was? Whether she has a boyfriend? What her father does?
Colleague: Oei! We just want to get know her better!
Me: Yeah finding out whether she has a boyfriend has brought you all closer. So tell me, what does it say about her character? You know she is 26 and has a boyfriend..
Colleague: My god. Why are you harping on this? I just wanted to know..
Me: You want to know something, you ask, and that question translates to you being genuinely interested in her. However, neither am I that intrusive nor do I have anything to ask her. Which could only mean.. I am unfriendly and cocky. Well, that suits me. Anyway, when she does find out how great I am, she will rue the fact that she didn't get to know me earlier. And when she rues, I will come to you and I say, Some people don't have to try so hard to get to know anyone.
Colleague: What makes you think she will hit it off with you?
Me: Because somewhere in her mind she knows that you guys are just kaypohs. Wahahaha.
Colleague: Right.. Are you always this condescending?
Me: I am just stating the truth.
Colleague: Your arrogance will be your downfall. Really...
Me: I am not arrogant. I call it confidence.
Colleague: Your head la. Confidence is what I have in our government. Arrogance is what you have running in that tiny body of yours. Anyway... I am not taking the bus today. You go ahead.
Me: Ah ok. Guess its just me and my arrogance then.
Colleague: Yeah I hope you and your pompous ass go for a great joy ride...
Friday, June 12, 2009
On trying to be a poruppoola paruppu (responsible lentil)
I call my soon-to-be 22 yr old cousin to ask her about Saturday's plans.
At the background, I hear a guy, on a microphone, talking about some techniques.
I ask her, "Are you in class?"
She says, "Ya la.."
I tell her, "So sorry. Its ok we will talk later. You carry on with class first."
She says, "No la.. Its not a problem. Not like he is interesting."
I say, "Look, I do not want to interrupt your learning. Nothing should come in between students and their education."
She keeps silent for about a minute.
And then she laughs. As in, really laughs.
She says, "What shit you talking? You remember last time.. when you told me to cut school on Thursday so we can go clubbing on Wednesday? You can even tell me.. 1) Thursday classes are a waste of time, 2) 3-hour Advertising module can be done at home in front of the TV, 3) If you are 18 and had yet to go to a club on Ladies night, you are a disgrace... And you also ask me for money to buy beer... and.."
I say, "Ok. Enough. I got to go. I need to continue learning (emphasis) new things at work."
She says, "Yeah right. Whatever la."
I should have quoted Buddha to her, "Do not dwell in the past."
However, I think she would have quoted Southpark to me, "Go to hell akka... just get lost."
At the background, I hear a guy, on a microphone, talking about some techniques.
I ask her, "Are you in class?"
She says, "Ya la.."
I tell her, "So sorry. Its ok we will talk later. You carry on with class first."
She says, "No la.. Its not a problem. Not like he is interesting."
I say, "Look, I do not want to interrupt your learning. Nothing should come in between students and their education."
She keeps silent for about a minute.
And then she laughs. As in, really laughs.
She says, "What shit you talking? You remember last time.. when you told me to cut school on Thursday so we can go clubbing on Wednesday? You can even tell me.. 1) Thursday classes are a waste of time, 2) 3-hour Advertising module can be done at home in front of the TV, 3) If you are 18 and had yet to go to a club on Ladies night, you are a disgrace... And you also ask me for money to buy beer... and.."
I say, "Ok. Enough. I got to go. I need to continue learning (emphasis) new things at work."
She says, "Yeah right. Whatever la."
I should have quoted Buddha to her, "Do not dwell in the past."
However, I think she would have quoted Southpark to me, "Go to hell akka... just get lost."
Wednesday, June 3, 2009
No turn back song
Tidbits
The guy in the center with specs, if you did not know, is Lim Swee Say, Minister in the Prime Minister's Office and NTUC Secretary-General. The remaining KTV singers are probably NTUC's directors.
They are singing the song to a popular Hokkien tune.
The compere is a cock. He thinks the song is "creative" and people "want to hear somemore".
I don't know what the Indian guy was thinking when he made the decision to participate in this catastrophe.
Favourite dance move: For U, From U
They are better coordinated than the MDA clowns.
The public service never ceases to amuse me.
Now I am just waiting for the Ministry of Home Affairs to do a music video feat. Mas Selamat, Abu Bakar Bashir and Chee Soon Juan, on the importance of internal security measures in Singapore.
Oi Oi!!!
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