A Xmas tale

Date: Dec 23

Occasion: Two days before Xmas

Venue: Conference Room

Time: Morning...

Activity: Chess

Players: Me and my Boss' wife

I scrunched up my eyebrows; an act highlighting my deep concentration. To move the knight or not? That was the question. I glanced up at my opponent.

She was stoic.

I couldn't read her face or her next move.

Time and again she looked at the bare office walls.

I felt slighted.

As an opponent I couldn't draw her into the game.

She was not threatened by me.

Like duh... She kicked my ass twice within an hour.

This was my third game with her.

My chances of winning this game were as slim as Popeye's Olive.

See I should have listened to my colleagues when they said the Boss' wife was an excellent chess player.

But no... I acted proud and said, "Well you will never know who can beat her unless you try!"

So I tried and I still don't know who can beat her.

Losing didn't suck. Losing so quickly sucked.

And the third and final game ended with the premature death of my king.. yet again. No surprises there.

"Good game! Or should I say games. Next time I pick the game. You play UNO?" I ask.

She laughs and goes, "I like you spirit. Is it becuase its Christmas? Is this your Christmas spirit?"

"No actually. Its more of the 'Maybe I can beat you in UNO' spirit, " I reply.

She laughs yet again.

"I remember UNO vaguely. You can refresh my memory when we play it. And thanks for playing three games with me. Very rarely do I meet someone who is willing to play more than one game with me," she says.

Me: "Well what can I say... I love being a loser..."

She: "Since you are such a sport.. I have decided to give you this."

She hands me a white box with a label which reads, "Rocky Road Choc Fudge Brownies."

Me: "Oooh... I can get used to losing to you."

She: "No one else wanted to play a competitive game with me. You offered to play three. You earned this sinful box."

She smiles and nods her head in appreciation.

I thank her and take a small bite of that sinful stuff.

Sigh.... Being a loser rocks man.

I head towards my work cubicle with the box.. only to see my colleagues anxiously awaiting my arrival.

Colleague 1: "You won?"

Me: "No."

Colleague 2 : "But you have a box..."

Me: "Yeah.. thats for losing."

Colleague 1: "Really? She gave you a gift for losing?"

Me: "Yeah. I lost thrice in fact."

Colleague 3: "Hahahaa.. What were you expecting? To beat a US state champion?"

Me: "What?? She is a state champion?"

Colleague 2: "Ya. In her Uni days in US."

Me: "And you guys didn't tell me that part?!"

Colleague 1: "(smiles) We didn't want to discourage you."

Me: "Ah.. ok.. every cloud has a silver lining.. at least I won some delicious fudge brownies."

Colleague 2: "So what you planning to do with your winnings?"

Me: "Probably eat at my cubicle in isolation. I wouldn't encourage you guys to eat something this sinful."

I heard them mutter a "Wah lau.." as I walk to my cubicle.

But for the sake of my supposed Christmas spirit, I decided to share the brownies with the office.

Never has losing tasted so sweet.

The book voucher

Boss: I wanted to ask you earlier but forgot... Have you used the book voucher we gave you?

Me: Ah.. yes... I did. Used it last month in fact.

(Kinokuniya book voucher: My 26th birthday present from the office)

Boss: So did you get the books I recommended?

His recommended list:

Sameul Huntington's The Clash of Civilisations (which I have already read and he knows that)

Obama's The Audacity of Hope

David Shaffer's Social and Personality Development

Russell Roberts' The Choice (Its about the nature and benefits of free trade and protectionism... if I am not wrong)

Robin Cormack's Byzantine Art (Seriously!!!)

Me: Not exactly... (shifting my weight around, shifting my eyes around, shifting my mind around)

Boss: Ok.. so what did you get?

Me: X-Men Volume 7 and The Justice League: Elite Squad Volume 1

Boss: Are.. are those comics?

Me: Yeah...

Boss: Oh ok... For a minute I thought they were actually useful books masked under strange names.

Me: Sorry to disappoint. They help me relieve stress.

Boss: (Sighs) Well... what more can I expect from a smoker?

Me: (My inner voice goes, Whatever...)

I give him a comforting smile and go off to smoke.

Ho Chi Minh

Whenever Poonaam and I go for a holiday, the person who does the most planning for the trip is....

My Secretary.

I have THREE maps of the area in which my hotel is located.

I have the number of the Singapore Embassy in Ho Chi Minh and Hanoi though I am not going to the latter.

I have the Ho Chi Minh police station number.

I have the Vietnam tourism board branch office number.

And she also passed me the number of a 24 hr clinic located somewhere near my hotel!

The last time we went to Bangkok she even got me a map showing their BTS (like our MRT) routes.

She has brought efficieny to new heights.

But no one is perfect, not even my secretary.

When I asked her to check out the entertainment scene in Ho Chi Minh, she got me the following:


1) Ho Chi Minh Puppet band

2) Water Puppet show

Its a definite definition problem. What entertainment means to me varies extremely from what it means to her.

Can't blame her though.

She is 38 yrs old, married with three daughters.

To her, I am a child.

To my mom, I am more than a child. I am a brat.

Thats the huge difference between my mom and my secretary.

One treats me well though I am not her child.

The other treats me ok though I am her child.

Both moms and secretaries are god-sent.

But only one listens to you.

Many thanks Mrs Secretary, I promise to never forget your birthday.

And Saigon, I am coming.

Worse still, Poonaam is coming.

Your beautiful language will die a natural death on her tongue. Beware.

Happy Birthday.

You turned 26 four days ago.

I guess it was a different birthday for you.

Well.... it was different for us.

I am not sure if they have Barons in heaven.

If they don't, I don't know how you are surviving.

I can't buy you a can everyday.

But I hope you had your fill on your birthday. (Sorry the useless Woodlands 7/11 didn't have a long can).

And yes.. I still stand by my theory, Heineken is way better.

Happy Birthday Cuz :(

A Real Song Competition

Name: Airtel Super Singer 2008
Channel: Vijay TV
Time: Every Mon-Wed, 9.00pm to 10.00pm

Real Singers

Real Judges (Unnikrishnan, Sujatha and Srinivas)

Real Talent

Real Music

No SMS voting

I have two favourites, 22 yr old Renu and 21 year old Ravi.

I listen to Renu's voice everyday without fail.

I wish she knew how ardent a fan I am.

Then again, Judge Srinivas and Host/Singer Chinmayi are fans of her voice too. I kinda pale in comparison to them. Sigh...

Anyway, here they are, singing some of my favourite songs:




Renu & Ravi




Renu & Bharathiraja




Ravi & Ragini Sri



Song Competition in India, no joke la.

The talent is as big as the population.

For example, the wonderful new singer Naresh Iyer, who sang Mayiliragae, Munbae Vaa, Valayapatti, Munthinam Parthaenae etc etc, managed to only come in 5th in the North Indian version of Airtel Super Singer. AR Rahman eliminated Naresh from one of the rounds but told him to come see him in his office. And that is how Naresh got his first break, i.e. Mayiliragae.

Point is.. when it comes to music, I think India is SUPPPPPPPPERRRRR!

The "not-as-good" singers there will probably be Superstars else where.

But even then, I personally think they shouldn't come to Singapore to be the next Vasantham Star.

They are too good for that title.

Things you should never do.

Never forget your Secretary's birthday.

Never.

Especially if she marked it on your planner, personal calendar and online calendar.