Happy Birthday

You are 25 now.

Sigh... my friend is all grown up.

But remember no matter how old you get, You must never stop laughing at my jokes, never stop calling me an ass, never stop hearing my crap, never refuse to scratch my nose when demanded, never stop paying for my food when I don't have the money, never stop planning my bday dinners, never stop going through the stress of getting me the right present for my bday, never stop telling me, "Your handwriting doesn't suit your face", never stop asking me to entertain you when you are bored, never stop asking me to go on trips with you, never stop telling me, "You can sleep on the couch", never stop telling me,"Yes I will follow you to watch the Surya movie" even though I give you lame excuses when you ask me to watch an Ajit movie with you, never stop being optimistic during a Man U game even though our beloved team has 5 mins to score 3 goals to win the game, never stop asking me to tell my mom that you want "kaadai muttai", never stop me when I want to do something out of the ordinary on trips (i.e. visit a museum or go watch the ladyboys show), never stop "discovering" songs 3 to 5 months after their initial release, never stop telling me, "You and Ruben will ruin my kid's life," never stop ignoring me when I am talking to you and never stop telling me, "You know I lou you."

Just... don't stop being You.

Becoz you are awesome at it.

For a moron, who accepted me with all my perfection, Happy Birthday.

I wish you much happiness, love and better road sense.

A chapter from the past

Two weeks ago, I met a flash from my past.

I was having a drink with a colleague at a popular watering-hole in Boat Quay when a thin and tall Chinese girl approached me and said, "I know you from last time. We were from the same Secondary School."

I take a good look at her.

Somehow, I didn't remember her.

She realised it.

She said, "I was not from your class. I was from your neighbouring class in Sec 3."

Yes, yes go on. You are getting warmer, I think to myself.

I start having a hazy recollection of my Sec 3 year.

Realising that my memory was probably failing me, she said: "Look, do you remember the time in Sec 3 when a girl threatened to commit suicide by jumping off from the 5th floor of the school building? And this other girl who walked past her said, 'If you want to jump.. just jump.. don waste our time.' Recall that incident?'

Ah.. I had a better picture now..

She sighs and continues, "Well the one who threatened to jump was me and the one who was polite enough to tell me to jump was you."

The picture in my head cleared and that incident replayed vividly before my eyes.

With an earnest look of "Finally I know you", I jump into the conversation, "Yes I remember. So how have you been?"

"I am good actually," she says.

And so we continued the conversation.... pretending I never once tried to end her life.

Memory

"Memory is so crazy! Its like we've got these drawers crammed with tons of useless stuff. Meanwhile, all the really important things we jut keep forgetting, one after the other. You know what I think? That people's memories are maybe the fuel they burn to stay alive. Whether those memories have any actual importance or not, it doesn't matter as far as the maintenance of life is concerned. They're all just fuel. Advertising fillers in the newspapers, philosophy books, dirty pictures in a magazine, a bundle of 10,000 yen bills: when you feed them to the fire, they're all just paper. The fire isn't thinking. 'Oh this is Kant', or 'Oh this is the Yomiuri evening edition', or 'Nice tits', while it burns, to the fire they are nothing but scraps of paper. It's the exact same thing. Important memories, not-so-important memories, totally useless memories: there's no distinction-they are all just fuel."

- After Dark, Haruki Murakami

At 26

At the really young age of 26, I stand at the threshold of life, thinking how different my birthdays have become.

The excitement and anticipation: Non-existent

Its seems just like any another day.

However, the birthday wishes do keep coming, in their own way weird ways at times.. But oh well.. they do come.

And some put a smile on my face whereas others put a huge question-mark (???) on my face.

Just to share a few SMSes:

Happy 25th Birthday! Have a great day ahead. ( I am 26 this year by the way)

My favourite spastic child! HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!! hope you get many people telling you that you are sexy and make you happy. heh. much love! :) [from a naathari (loosely translated to mean useless person) who is at least a good 5 years younger than me]

Let retardation take its full form. HAPPY 26th BRITHDAY! (from a moron who can't spell)

Happy birthday twin! Our combined age as of today is 50 years. We've been around for half a century.

26 and still a pain in the butt. Happy Birthday babe. You loveeee me :)

HAPPY BUFFDAY GOD'S FAV IDIOT!! hehehehe.

People get wiser with age. You get crappier with age. I LIKE IT!

Wishing you many more sticks, many more drinks and a happening sex-life! Don't do drugs. God bless. (the juxtaposition of God in that rather deplorable sentence is the brilliance of a drunk Chinese Catholic girl)

Stay hot and ugly always. Happy birthday imbecile. (Mother of all contradictions).

When I see the toilet I think of you because you are full of shit.
When I see the toilet I think of you because thats where my cigs are lit.
When I see the toilet I think of you because thats where you helped me.
When I see the toilet I think of you because I need you both badly.
Happppy Birthday. stay shitty always :)

Happy birrrrrthday! You are cool, I am not. I am hot you are not! You are funny, I am not. I am nice you are not. You can dance, I cannot. I can tie a knot with the cherry stick, you cannot.
You are smart, I am not. I am sweet, you are not. You are a JACKASS, I am not! You are tiny, I am not!

I dig you.. stilll... even at 26. For that, I think I am great. Happy birthday Ah-Niu.

Happy Birthday :) :) :) Where is the graph? (One word: Boss)

Other than these non-verbal birthday wishes, there were also the face-to-face wishes.

One in particular, I really liked. But I don't know why.

I have a colleague who is now 34 weeks pregnant. She will be 30 yrs old, come Nov 12.
Everyday, I talk to her stomach because I am tired of talking to the walls and my mystery friends, Sheila, Ah-boi and Mr Cantik.

Initially, I found it a bit weird, you know pointedly looking at someone's stomach and talking to it. But after I felt the baby's kicks (he is doing muay thai in there), I realised, "My God. Its alive and its alone."

I decided I will keep him company whenever I can.

The mum-to-be doesn't mind. In fact, she introduced him to me.

On my birthday she told me, "I wish my child would grow up to be like you. Maybe minus the smoking and drinking.. And maybe the rather slack attitude and the sarcastic wit ... and that up-to-no-good face... And also I don't want him to be that skinny or have bad eyesight or have pierced ears."

Me: Then your kid won't grow up to be me.

She: I love your hair though!! Happy birthday girl.

And she gives me a hug. Junior gives me a kick.

I give him and myself a pat.

Being 26 and having a child-heart is hardwork man....