Wednesday, October 22, 2008
Friday, October 10, 2008
The Mermaid and I
Her name is Ariel.
A name I commonly associate with the Disney cartoon "Little Mermaid."
She has hair like the mermaid..
But NO, definitely not the nose, eyes or the lower anatomy of the mermaid.
Well, I have never met anyone called Ariel.
Then again, many in Singapore would have rarely met anyone called Anu or Aarokiasaamy for that matter.
Ok back to Ariel.
I first met Ariel 3 weeks ago. We work in different departments.
Ariel is in her early 30s.
She dresses like she is in her early 20s.
She is always giggling and smiling.
She likes to talk and talk... and talk... sometimes even MY ears get tired...
She gets stuck at questions like, "Who was the male lead in Mission Impossible?" (The answer arrives a good 4.5 minutes late)
She advices me to quit smoking and tells me, "Drinking solves all problems."
Every 2 hours or so she will bemoan her fate at work and cry out loudly, "I miss my DOG."
When someone recently asked her whether she had any cool piercings on her body, she showed them her ears.
Her handwriting is so bad, it can possibly be read upside down.
Ariel is difficult to read.
Based on her daily conversational topics, her mannerisms and her idosyncracies, one cannot judge her.
Ariel has stumped many at work. Her colleagues initially thought she was a bit off an "air-head", rather quirky, odd and full of crap.
Well she is when she is not busy being brilliant...
Ariel is ambidextrous. She can (legibly) write English sentences using her right hand and Chinese phrases using her left hand, at the same time.
She speaks good Japanese and German.
She plays the piano, organ and the guitar.
She speed-reads.
She is the only person I know who can accurately quote passages by Socrates.
She can solve the Rubik's cube in minutes.
She plays competitive chess.
She can spell backwards.
And she has the best negotiation skills in the business.
They use this rather sacrilegous anecdote in office to describe Ariel: "She can probably convince God to cross over to the dark side."
According to her, reading people is the first step to attaining good negotiation skills.
Ariel reads people very well simply because she (more than anyone else) knows.. "What you see is not always what you get."
Ariel drives a small blue Kia Picanto.
She drives like she owns the road.
Once she said she would give me a lift to my friend's house.
I literally jumped at the offer.
However, she ended up tailgating some moron Ah-Beng on the road, who had apparently pissed her off.
I turned up 25 minutes late at my friend's house.
See, I love it when eccentric geniuses exhibit their genius self.
However, they should try to keep their eccentricity at minimal levels.
Chasing an Ah-Beng along Mandai Road... I will never do because I am no eccentric.
Then again, I am no genius either.
A name I commonly associate with the Disney cartoon "Little Mermaid."
She has hair like the mermaid..
But NO, definitely not the nose, eyes or the lower anatomy of the mermaid.
Well, I have never met anyone called Ariel.
Then again, many in Singapore would have rarely met anyone called Anu or Aarokiasaamy for that matter.
Ok back to Ariel.
I first met Ariel 3 weeks ago. We work in different departments.
Ariel is in her early 30s.
She dresses like she is in her early 20s.
She is always giggling and smiling.
She likes to talk and talk... and talk... sometimes even MY ears get tired...
She gets stuck at questions like, "Who was the male lead in Mission Impossible?" (The answer arrives a good 4.5 minutes late)
She advices me to quit smoking and tells me, "Drinking solves all problems."
Every 2 hours or so she will bemoan her fate at work and cry out loudly, "I miss my DOG."
When someone recently asked her whether she had any cool piercings on her body, she showed them her ears.
Her handwriting is so bad, it can possibly be read upside down.
Her office table is lined with Hello Kitty and Sesame Street collectibles.
The latest fiction book on her table is, " Peanuts - Volume 5".
Her ringtone is, "I thought I saw a puddy cat."
Ariel is difficult to read.
Based on her daily conversational topics, her mannerisms and her idosyncracies, one cannot judge her.
Ariel has stumped many at work. Her colleagues initially thought she was a bit off an "air-head", rather quirky, odd and full of crap.
Well she is when she is not busy being brilliant...
Ariel is ambidextrous. She can (legibly) write English sentences using her right hand and Chinese phrases using her left hand, at the same time.
She speaks good Japanese and German.
She plays the piano, organ and the guitar.
She speed-reads.
She is the only person I know who can accurately quote passages by Socrates.
She can solve the Rubik's cube in minutes.
She plays competitive chess.
She can spell backwards.
And she has the best negotiation skills in the business.
They use this rather sacrilegous anecdote in office to describe Ariel: "She can probably convince God to cross over to the dark side."
According to her, reading people is the first step to attaining good negotiation skills.
Ariel reads people very well simply because she (more than anyone else) knows.. "What you see is not always what you get."
Ariel drives a small blue Kia Picanto.
She drives like she owns the road.
Once she said she would give me a lift to my friend's house.
I literally jumped at the offer.
However, she ended up tailgating some moron Ah-Beng on the road, who had apparently pissed her off.
I turned up 25 minutes late at my friend's house.
See, I love it when eccentric geniuses exhibit their genius self.
However, they should try to keep their eccentricity at minimal levels.
Chasing an Ah-Beng along Mandai Road... I will never do because I am no eccentric.
Then again, I am no genius either.
Thursday, October 2, 2008
What upperhand???!!
Its 5.00 pm.
Forty five minutes to complete the assignment and leave the office at regular hours like typical civil servants...
I will not leave late on a Friday!! My inner self tells my interior self...
And so there I sit.. Busy thinking, busy typing and busy thinking again...
I even sacrificed my 4.30 p.m. late afternoon, before 6 p.m., smoke.
Its 5.15 p.m.
I sense a foreboding presence approaching me.
I smelt him a mile away.
Its the smell of a boss, one that reeks authority, intelligence and Burberrys.
"Can I trouble you for a while?" he asks.
"Yup sure," I reply, in all sincerity.
"Where can I get a nice Xmas tree?"
I blinked at him and then threw a glance at my calendar.
The date reads 19/09/08.
Yes Xmas is around the corner. Its just three other public holidays away.
My boss is a Catholic.
Almost all my other colleagues are Christians.
We have one Buddhist.
One confused soul who goes under the tag, "free-thinker".
And yes there is me, the Hindu.
Yeah... I should know where exactly one can get a Xmas tree... because... Hinduism is the oldest religion and we know where all the trees are...
I returned back to my work, showing I was not interested in furthering the conversation. However, its rude to keep a Boss waiting..
So I replied,
"GEYLANG."
Boss: Huh?
Me: You can get it at Geylang.
Boss: Xmas tree??
Me: Yes.
Boss: Really? Are you sure?
Me: Yes. There is a shop in Geylang, near lorong ave 5.
Boss: Oh ok. Thanks.
Me: No problem. Anytime.
He turns to leave... but before that he asks me..
"You are not leaving yet right.. since you have not finished the work?"
"Nope," I say.
"Let nothing to distract you.." And he walks back to his room.
Sigh...
With bosses, you can never get the upperhand.
Forty five minutes to complete the assignment and leave the office at regular hours like typical civil servants...
I will not leave late on a Friday!! My inner self tells my interior self...
And so there I sit.. Busy thinking, busy typing and busy thinking again...
I even sacrificed my 4.30 p.m. late afternoon, before 6 p.m., smoke.
Its 5.15 p.m.
I sense a foreboding presence approaching me.
I smelt him a mile away.
Its the smell of a boss, one that reeks authority, intelligence and Burberrys.
"Can I trouble you for a while?" he asks.
"Yup sure," I reply, in all sincerity.
"Where can I get a nice Xmas tree?"
I blinked at him and then threw a glance at my calendar.
The date reads 19/09/08.
Yes Xmas is around the corner. Its just three other public holidays away.
My boss is a Catholic.
Almost all my other colleagues are Christians.
We have one Buddhist.
One confused soul who goes under the tag, "free-thinker".
And yes there is me, the Hindu.
Yeah... I should know where exactly one can get a Xmas tree... because... Hinduism is the oldest religion and we know where all the trees are...
I returned back to my work, showing I was not interested in furthering the conversation. However, its rude to keep a Boss waiting..
So I replied,
"GEYLANG."
Boss: Huh?
Me: You can get it at Geylang.
Boss: Xmas tree??
Me: Yes.
Boss: Really? Are you sure?
Me: Yes. There is a shop in Geylang, near lorong ave 5.
Boss: Oh ok. Thanks.
Me: No problem. Anytime.
He turns to leave... but before that he asks me..
"You are not leaving yet right.. since you have not finished the work?"
"Nope," I say.
"Let nothing to distract you.." And he walks back to his room.
Sigh...
With bosses, you can never get the upperhand.
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