BANGKOK

These pictures are two months late... But what can I do when they are stuck with a moron friend of mine... I am just glad I got them before my hair started turning grey.

Anyway, this is Bangkok...

The pretty temples...








The hustle and the bustle....










And everything else voyeuristic... captured by two female Singaporean voyeurs...



The not so young ang-moh tourist with nice legs. (Picture was snapped by me while her husband was desperately trying to figure out a map)



And yes, What is Bangkok without the sleaze? The foreigner with the local thai girl.. always a sight to behold. This hugging scene took place at a restaurant called, "Cabbages and Condoms". And I must say it was a very loooooong scene which drew curious looks from the patrons of the restaurant.


I should thank Poonaam for her perseverance for she managed to snap a few shots of the "couple". She didn't bother that the photo taking could possibly offend them. She went to great lengths to be a voyeur. I am truly proud of her.

And Finally, we have OUR FAVOURITE BAR GIRL, who served us drinks with a smile, who made cleaning tables look oh-so glamourous, who looked cool even though a piece of 'cleaning tables' cloth was hanging infront of her jeans. Sigh...



If I am given a chance to leave Singapore for a few days, I know where I would be heading.
Its not just the good food and the exchange rate... there is certainly something more to this country. The people, the culture, their way of life, the history, the religion, the language... basically, everything about the country intrigues me.

The Thais are sweet, polite, helpful and respectful.

The Thai women are pretty, both the real ones and the transformed ones.

The Thai men are ok-looking I guess. Didn't see many good-looking ones.

The two really cute Thai guys we saw ended up being gay, so that was rather disappointing.

Bangkok is actually a great place to meet people from other countries. Its filled with soooo many tourists, you can pick and choose who you want to be friends with.

And its always interesting to stay in the sleaziest areas in Bangkok, like Nana, where the first and last person you see is either a call girl or a tranny-cum-call girl.

Bang-the-kok I like.....

I cannot cry for them

I was waiting for the train at Yishun MRT station.


Four Indian girls were standing beside me.


They stopped talking (loudly) when they saw me. I could hear them whispering and giggling.


They were saying something about me. That I was sure. But what exactly were they saying? I had no clue...

I was wondering whether there was something wrong with my physical appearance, like maybe my hair was standing at its ends or maybe I was unknowinlgy drooling from the right side of my mouth.

I did a quick check. Everything seemed fine.

I went back to reading my TIME magazine. The giggles got louder. Then one of the girls said this tamil word: "Baeku"(nerd).


Ah so they think I look like a nerd. Mmmm... perhaps I did. My haversack was bigger than me. I was wearing thick specs and was dressed like a male Japanese high school student (i.e with a shirt, vest and pants). I had an umbrella on one side of my bag and a water bottle on the other. My hair was living a life of its own.

I am usually a very understanding person... I can understand why they think I look like a "baeku "(nerd) and honestly they can think whatever they want...

But you see patience is not always a virtue... and me ignoring them only made them bolder.

My handphone rang.

It was a colleague.

As I was talking to her, I could hear them imitating the way I spoke. Also, they picked on certain words I used and made fun of them. I said, "That is quite ironic" and one of the girls went, "Ooh IORONICK seh... enna yelavu la athu (loosely translated to mean what the hell is that)?"

And so they continued with their verbal slander, mocking me and the English language in the process.

I have to admit. I was rather irritated but... for once, I had no smart comeback. I mean what do you say to childish morons? It would be a waste of my time, breath and words.

And though I had watched Ong Bak several times, it was certainly not enough to let me take on those four Indians girls who were much heavier than Babe.

I contemplated on what to do since both verbal and physical cofrontations were out of the picture.

I slowly turned around to see my bullies.

We made eye contact and they started laughing louder than ever before.

Oooh so this is what a pack of female hyenas sound like, I thought to myself.

Sigh... I was a big joke to them.

Sorrow shrouded my heart and shame grabbed me by my throat.

I was choked with tears.

My eyes welled up.

But I told myself I cannot cry, not in front of them especially.

I cannot cry for them because they are pathetic.

I cannot cry for them because I am superior than them.

I cannot cry for them because my present and future is brighter than theirs.

I cannot cry for them because I am smarter than them.

I cannot cry for them because I am more matured than them.

I cannot cry for them because I know how to use the word "ironic" in a sentence, a sonnet and in a conversation.

And I absolutely cannot cry for them because they are "useless".

That is sooooo wrong. It is sooo elitist.

God created two of a kind to maintain balance in this world. If there are people like me, there will be people like them.

How did I know they were "useless"? The exact way in which they thought I was a nerd. I judged the book by a cover, which is not usually my style.

But you know sometimes one look at the cover and you would know what kinda book it is.

Same applies here, one look at some people and you would know whether they are "useless".

I cannot cry for them because they are not crying for their pathetic selves.

I cannot cry for them because they would think I am crying because of them.

Miss Universe

Finally, Miss Venezuela won the pageant this year.

I was acutally wondering how long more the Venezuelans were going to come in second and hear the following (in)famous line: "If the newly crowned Miss Universe is unable to continue her duties, the first runner up will assume her position and continue her reign." Well, Dayana Mendoza certainly bucked the trend this year.

Coloumbia came in second this year
Dominican Republic third
Russia fourth
Mexico fifth
And Miss USA tripped...

Politically, that is hilarious.
Visually, Miss USA tripping was quite hilarious.
Historically, Miss USA(s)tripping two years in a row was also hilarious.

Oh well, guess there is no big difference between the country's foreign policy and the Miss USA representatives.

As I was watching the pageant this year, I remembered the first Miss Universe pageant I ever watched.

I was 12. The year was 1994.

I was a young, smart and sexy PSLE student.

So you can imagine my shock when I saw someone slighty older than me, slightly prettier and sexier than me and slightly smarter than me win the Miss Universe crown. I knew she would win even though the critics were a little unsure.

She answered the questions well and carried herself with much grace and poise, it was really not surprising that she won.

Beyond the beautiful looks, there was something about her personality that stood out. I think you call it CONFIDENCE.

She was an 18 yr old lady. The 18 year olds I knew at that time were babies.

I was in awe. I liked her at first sight and I still like her alot.

Sigh.. YOU ARE MY FAVOURITE MISS UNIVERSE SUSHMITA SEN! *gushes and er.. blushes?"

HERE IS THE BIG 1994 MOMENT... Wahahaha...



I must add, my hairstyle in 1994 was way better than hers.

Jerusalem

Kabbalah is the mystical aspect of Judaism. It revolves around its essential book, the Zohar.

Wearing red strings on the wrists to ward off Evil Eye is a popular Kabbalah practice.

Do the Hindus know this?!!

I have two red strings on my wrist. I believed it was solely a Hindu practice.

According to a friend, I will have no problem in Jerusalem as I have two red strings on my wrist.

But even without the strings, I wasn't expecting any problems...

Unless I look Palestinian and no one dared to tell me...

Unless I laugh at the Wailing Wall instead of crying...

Unless a Jew asks me, "Why did you seek Yahweh?" and I go "Ya-who?"

Then again I will worry when I actually go to Jerusalem...

Jerusalem is a sacred place...

Its a holy ground for 3 major religions...

Its a reminder that religions can co-exist...

Its where MM said he wanted to be buried...

Now isn't that a compelling enough reason to go to Jerusalem?

Culture shock

Sometime back I did something I NEVER thought I would do....

NEVER....Not me.. not in a million years....

I fell sleep in a TAMILAN club....

Right beside the DJ Console somemore...

With Speakers just over my head...

Was it exhaustion?boredom? intoxication? Or a combination of all three??

I do not know...

BUT what I do know is....

1) I slept for about fifty minutes in the club

2) Not one of the three idiots I was with thought of waking me up. In fact, they placed their valuables on me and went to dance.

3) The group of guys sitting opposite me thought I was smashed

When I woke up I was shocked that...

a) I managed to KO in a club
b) Not one of the three idiots missed me on the dance floor
c) The Chivas was finished!
d) A minah/meenah was sitting beside me!

A minah/meenah in an Indian club is a common sight nowadays.... But I was still shocked because she was sitting on our couch, right beside me, bobbing her head for a kuruvi (tamil movie) song.

I rub my eyes a few times to verify her race, in that dark, cloudy room...

She says: Hi! I am Suhaila.

Me says: Er... Anu...

She says: Nice song!

Me says: You have heard it before??

She says: (she laughs) Ya... if not how I noe its nice??

Me says: Good point.. Sorry I am still sleepy...

She says: OOoh Ooh i like this part! (and she presses my arm excitedly...)

Me says: ah ok....

She hums along to the song...

Next thing I know I am on the dance floor with a minah/meenah dancing for some kuthu tamil song...

Next thing I know, she knows the lyrics of the song... (better than me)...

Next thing I know her phone rings...

Next thing I know her ring tone is Engeyum Epothum from Pollathavan...

Next thing I know I was in shock... culture shock...

But its good you know... always good... to have such racial harmony... to know certain aspects of your culture are appealing to other races... to know its not just the food that the other races enjoy...

And its also good to see the priceless expression on the faces of the Indians when these Malay girls who are smoking, waste their sticks and literally run back to the dance floor because the DJ played a popular song...

The Indians are just left standing there with their mouths agape and their cigs burning... Its quite a sight... especially when the Tamilans are drunk....

Strength of weak alliances

I have recently concluded that clubbing can be fun, especially when you do not patronise the clubs with a huge group of friends. Its interesting to note that when you go with fewer people you tend to make more new friends in the club.

Well, in this context, friends might not be the most apt word; "weak acquaintances" would be better. I mean these are the sort of people you hang out with only in the club, you don't become best buds and chat on the phone every night before you hit the sack. Initially, I could not care less about the concept of "acquaintances". But after reading Malcolm Gladwell's "Tipping Point", in which he dedicates a chapter on the topic: "The strength of weak alliances", I decided to
test his theory.

And I realised that I have benefitted quite substantially from it. You will be surprised to know how small things can make a big difference. A smile, a goodwill gesture (like giving way, opening doors, offering seats) and a smoke break can ACTUALLY result in you getting OC(free) DRINKS and STICKS! Wahahahaha...

To name a few examples:

Eg 1: My cuz found a phone on the dance floor and asked around to see whose phone it was. We eventually found the owner and returned it to him. He was so ecstatic, he hugged us and gave us two Chivas glasses.

Eg 2: Some Indian guy's girlfriend tripped but I caught her before she fell. She was so grateful she took pictures with me and her boyfriend offered me and my cousin four glasses of Johnny.

Eg 3: I held the club's lift door for this Indian guy. He offered me a Marlboro later.

Eg 4: A crossed dress Indian celebrity apologised for her/his friends acting rowdily and thanked us for being gracious, patient and understanding. She/He offered us two glasses of Jim.

Eg 5: I offered a girl a light outside Pump Room and she bought me a Corona when we went back in after the smoke.

So be nice and polite, pretend to be sacrificial, play it smart: exploit other people's weaknesses, compliment them on their clothes, dance moves etc, be interested and be interesting, listen carefully, react quickly, pay attention to details and scout for potential preys, hesitate (initially) when you are offered anything for free, then be shameless and accept it.

I think we often forget that strangers can be nice. They are nice because they know that such brief encounters do not necessarily lead to a longstanding frienship/relationship. People are always nice briefly and are usually nice when they are having fun. And that is always an advantage... especially if you drink.

Life is about being free and easy.

And this is FREE and EASY....