All in the game.

The strong wind rushes into my glorious crown, tickling my hair ends. In utter joy, my soft wavy hair runs amok, covering every bit of my scalp, part of my face and one side of my spectacles. I love it when my hair flies, so Bollywood heroine.....

"Oei.. you.. Excuse me Miss, where you going?"

I am surprised by the question and the familiarity of the voice that raised that question.

Every morning, I walk past that SAME security guard to take the lift to my office.

I don't even have to carry my official pass around coz the security guard is my friend.

Or so I told everyone in my office proudly.

I am a little hurt now.

"Its me uncle. Look I have my pass, " I say with tears brimming in my eyes.

"Alamak. You huh... Why you never comb hair leh? So messy can't even recognise you."

Our friendship has certainly come to a premature end.

He still smiles and waves at me like everything is perfectly fine between us.

I act and smile like everything is fine too. But an eyeless storm is brewing in me so there is zilch room for calm, peace or compromise.

Security guards can't be trusted.

And trust is always THE issue in every relationship.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A few weeks ago, I turned 25. I wasn't too pleased. So I wanted to see if anyone else was happy that I was going to be a year older.

I skip out of my room, happily proclaiming , "My birthday is in 2 days!"

"Have you cleaned your room???" My mom screams back.

"I am not giving you any money" My dad casually mentions.

"When is your pay coming in?" My brother asks.

I return back to the room, dejected. I seek solace in Mozart.

Birthdays are not always a happy thing...

And those who think otherwise possibly belong in the 4-10 age group.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"No T-shirts to work! How many times have I told you?? Why can't you listen?" shouts my officer.

"Sorry," I mumble and I really mean it; the mumble of course.

"You look like one of those delivery people!" she continues rather angrily.

If I say something witty now, I might get her to smile a little. Must ease the situation and get her to relac a bit, I think to myself.

"Well at least you know, I DELIVER good results," I tell her with a smirk.

Yes.... those words and the smirk included did escape from my lips. And I cannot even say it came out suddenly.

Coz I certainly planned it.

But what my officer said next was totally unplanned, for both me and Her.

"Thats it! You are getting a warning letter regarding your work attire and you are to show it to your BOSS. Also, you know what you look like... well the coffee delivering aunty in our building! And we all know the RESULTS of her coffee making skills; IT sucks!" she said quickly(not wanting to run out of steam) in a raised high pitched voice.

She was trembling after that lengthy monologue. Probably never gotten angry at anyone or anything before.

Oh well.. who cares?

I am just pleased to say that I have made a fellow young woman go weak and breathless.

294

294 was the feeder bus service I used to take from the interchange to go home.

294 is the PSLE aggregate of this yr's top student. Its probably the highest score ever recorded.

I always knew that number was significant.

I am glad it made it in life.

Bad day.

Today is a bad day for the civil service.

A dark and gloomy one, I might add.

As it is no one really respects the civil servants...

And now with the Media Development Authority's rap video feat Eminem Wannabes in the disguise of CEOs, I am confident our(civil servants) popularity ratings will soar.

The public is right.

Civil servants are one-tracked, boring, uncool... and certainly can't dance to save their CPF contributions.

With the exception of me of course....

Because I got a place in Clown College.

And I am going to eradicate this "civil service stigmatization" by dressing up as a DRUNK CLOWN and rapping gibberish.

In between my non-existent rhyme scheme and senseless alliterative verses, I will throw in a few "there is something stuck in my ass" dance moves.

Apparently this way you can get the message across better.

Or so MDA believed

I don't wanna doubt them, after all they are the talk of the town now.

And finally I will get the Head of all Heads; the Towkay of my Department to say something profound and ironic, like

" MDA is in the media business where creativity is highly valued (Really??? Whose creativity???) Thats why we illustrated our vision of a global media city with a rap video. Its our way of walking the talk." -Director of Communications Cassandra Tay

Rap (part of the vision) + MDA (the visionary) = A global media city disappearing quickly from our vision. And what the hell is "walking the talk?" A creative new term?

"Get creative, can do rock on" MDA video is available on almost all blogs and the ever so reliable Youtube, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qjLw28UVWEU

Its a Sing along video, same same like High School Musical, so do remember to sing along.

I never thought I would say....

Things I never thought I would say....

1) "Thank you. But I have had enough to drink."

2) "I am 24 for God's sake! Now sell me those cigarettes."

3) "Will your TotalShield Plan cover me totally?"

4) "Get me a book for my birthday. Wait I will tell you which one I want."

5) "I want to go back to school."

6) "Can you help me? I am stuck in the filing room."

7) "Its 10.30 already?!!! Ok must sleep."

8) "Er... Excuse me your boob is in the way."

9) "Wah... your hair nicer than mine."

10) "I miss my Boss."

11) "Peter Piper picked some pickled peppers and shoved them up your ass."

12) "Isn't beer the solution?"

13) " I am Indian, can't you see? My nose is not flat."

14) "Can I stay late and finish my work?"

15) "You mean work is supposed to be serious?"

"You're like my favourite radio station. All COOL ALL THE TIME! Happy Birthday."

Birthday cards have never been more meaningful.

And as long as its a compliment I don't mind. I want more.

888888888888888888888888888888888

What is a generalisation?
"You are Indian and thus by default funny and nice".

What can be pressurizing?
"I am Indian and thus by DEFAULT am funny and nice."

888888888888888888888888888888888

I don't know what to call this post.

Gone are the good old days of a "Hey, how are you?" greeting. More often, in recent times, I am greeted with a "So what are you doing now?" "Oh I am just viewing the scenery" Or "Er.. now I am talking to you" were my initial responses, which were usually followed by a hearty laugh and a "You were always funny" comment. After numerous encounters, I finally got it. "Oh.. They asking where I am working...." The realisation was late but I am glad it came just a year after I graduated. I can independently deal with such situations now. I have learnt to read between the lines of "So what are you doing now?" and answer credibly. My socially awkward moments have halted at a premium number of 269.

Be it the long lost mother's friend or the father's brother's wife's sister's husband's uncle; once they find out you have left the tertiary education system for good, they instantly ravage you with savage questions :

"What you doing now?"

"What exactly is the job scope?"

"What is the pay like? Is that graduate's pay?"

"You know my daughter is earning 4k a month, maybe you want to try there?"

"One of my friend's son used to work there. He hated it. Maybe you are different?"

" Is there room for progress? Can get promotion?"

"They got see colour or not?"

" Is this your career path?"

"9 to 5 job? Don't work on saturdays la..."

My answer: Leave me alone you morons. But I can't say that because I am a conservative Indian girl with ingrained traditional values. So all I can do is smile and zone out like most hypocrites. I have learnt that both patience and hypocrisy are virtues I cannot live without. If I were to do and say as I please, I would have lost my relatives in numbers, started a fight in every other club or bar, burnt the school down and blown smoke rings in my auntie's face. The art is to keep a reactionless face and give curt replies. Pretend to indulge in their crap; not too much and not too less. You don't have to be overtly friendly, its not like you are initiating international trade ties. But it pays to be polite especially when Deepavali is around the corner and you shamlessly want bulging hang bao packets from them. Be extra nice during the festive season. Keep the hyporcisy at an optimum high. Being truthful and frank can wait long long.