Doomsday at the Doorstep.

You know something's wrong with the world when...

• An Ipod accessory costs more than the Ipod itself.
• An English Assessment Book for a Sec 1 student is priced at $9.80
• Malaysia is riddled with an increasing number of pending apostasy cases.
• You see sanitary napkin ads splashed across the boards at bus stops.
• The tuition kid asks you, "What is the lexical context of the word Meridian?" and you simply stare at him blankly.
• They aim to make Johor the next Hong Kong.
• The best thing about the new terminal in the airport is its "intelligent" roof reflectors.
• An English teacher writes the following comment in a student's report book, "He has speaks well and confidently."
• The "No Smoking in every other public area in Singapore" ban gets extended to the clubs and bars on the 1st of July.

And...

• when Miss Japan wins the Miss Universe crown.

The world is going to end I tell you. I can see the signs. Can you?

Eeeeeeeeeelite.....

Elite is a dirty word in Singapore. Many like to pretend it doesn't exist and are quick to condemn anyone who talks about elitism in students. Sorry my friends, but elitism in students is alive and kicking more forcefully now than you can ever possibly imagine. Today's Straits Times did a survey to asses students' perceptions of the elite and what they think defines elitist behaviour. The interesting discovery was that wealth was not stated as a popular indicator of elitism. Now don't you think that is something to be proud of? Our students are not socially pathetic, they do know what is important. For many students notions of the elite simply stems from the school one goes to and the acquired knowledge one receives there, be it their articulation of the English language or their ability to decipher Quantum codes. The significance given to the value of knowledge overshadows the power of wealth and materialism. This dismissal of income disparity is a first step to eliminate class consciousness. No more looking down on the not so financially well off since knowledge is considered as the greater wealth. A little more elite awareness could actually be a healthy thing. It would help us to see more clearly who we are, what is imperative to us, how we stand in relation to others, and ultimately assist us in planning for the future more systematically.

A good proportion of those who did the survey believe it is somewhat important to be a member of the elite. Now, I don't think thats a bad thing. Being a member of the elite doesn't immediately equate to being arrogant, carrying a greater than thou attitude and looking down on those from non-elite neighbourhood schools. Many students willingly choose these so called elite schools because of the schools excellent academic track record. My aim to go to the National University of Singapore was facilitated by Temasek Junior College's '99% of our students make it to the Uni' proven statistic. Elite schools guide you to your aim. They mold your confidence, pressurize you to do well, give you the necessary exposure for the next level and inevitably allow the people around you to gasp in awe, "Oooh so you are from a Top 5 Jc." Thats technically not your fault. Its like an occupational hazard that comes along with a student's job of gettting good grades. Elite behaviour cannot be confined into a single parameter and defined according to that. People have come across varied forms of such behaviour. It is irrational to negatively conceptualize the definition. Elite behaviour is created through a long process of having to derive one's maximum potential in a highly competitive environment. When everyone around you is excelling, you cannot afford to fail. Its a survival of the academically strong. Intelligence is the strongest weapon. Its a 'Drive a dog to the corner and it will bite back' attitude. This perserverance imbued in you is not elite behaviour. It is merely your will to succeed. The attributes of elite behaviour are confidence not cockiness, determination not disrespect for others, success not snobbery, pride and not narcissim. A few black sheep of the elite herd are accused of looking down on the academically weaker herd of sheep. These black sheep are the cause of the black mark placed on elite students. These black sheep should be sheared and sent to the abattoir. They should not be the ones generalising or demeaning the elite terminology. An elite is considered to be a class above the rest. If you are a class above the rest, act like it. Misbehaviour is not elite behaviour. Its classless behaviour. Therefore, there are many misunderstood concepts misrepresented resulting in such disgraceful terming of 'elite misbehaviourialism'.

Elites are not a unique existence. Many students these days than before fall under this elite categorisation. Its not just about top schools anymore. Its about social backgrounds, knowledge gathered outside the school environment, intellecutal discussions with friends outside the academic realm, positive attitudes, competitive spirits and many more. Soon, every other student in his/her need to want to accelerate personal development will strive to become an elite. Singapore is a society made of elites. Its a mass civilisation of elites. And unlike the Mayans, our life span is indefinitely long.

Its Neo Time.

While Manchester United Fans were rejoicing the team's EPL title win during the weekend, Pakistanis all over Pakistan were rejoicing for a different reason altogether. They took to the streets of Lahore in joy when celebrated Chief Justice(CJ) Iftikhar Chaudhry made his rounds seeking backing from the people for his battle against the government's attempts to oust him from the CJ post. His humanitarian values and heroic act of standing up against the 'evils of the government' accentuates his physical attributes of dark lush hair, oiled manly moustache and Matirx styled shades, making him the ideal end product: The Bollywood Hero Pakistan is in desperate need of. How long more will they look to India's Shah Rukh or Amitabh as their heores? Or how long before another Pakistan cricket legend emerges to reignite their idol worship? With Wasim Akram's timely exit from the "Few Pakistan Heroes" Club to his free entry to the "Yes I am Diabetic" Club, the country's disillusionment that stagnated with politics rapidly permeated to sports. So along comes Chaudhry to present the disheartened people yet another chance at authentic Pakistani idol worship. He is a through and through Pakistani, unlike Musharaff whose ancestral house was in India.

The impish looking intellectual President is afraid of Chow Chow Chaudhry. He has every reason to be. Afterall, the latter scores a tad better in the looks department and so the country can actually gain in revenue if Chaudhry becomes their poster boy for local advertisments and national stamps. Come to think of it, its pretty cool to have a funky looking head of state modelling for Police glasses. Chaudhry also seems to have a better grasp of the constituition, which is a given since he was the Chief Justice. And I believe this centralized his motive in wanting to proactively rectify certain Islamic laws. Whichever Islamic law proves incongrous to human rights, Big Bad Chaudhry vows to blast it out of Pakistan's border. Now I can visualize the women of the country tearing in happiness and screaming at the top of their voices in relief. So this man has got the women in the bag. But how did he attain mass appeal? My speculation speculates that Chaudhry did it with a little help from the Matrix DVDs. Chaudhry is the present day Neo(Matrix hero) of Pakistan. He seems to be a Neo-conservatist with no visible signs of Neo- Nazi tendencies. He might eventually come down to embracing Neo-modernism. Chaudry is not afraid to publicly expose the government's Neo-wrongdoings. He also serves as the Neo voice of the many muted citizens who have allegedly disappeared over the years. Now isn't that fierce competition for the not so neo-looking Musharaff who is probably supported by his not so neo-junta.

Will Chaudhry successfully thwart his ousting? Will he become the next President of Pakistan? Or will he will be silenced, just like the many who went against the government? All this and more will be revealed in Pakistan's Urdu version of the Matrix Revolutions.